以前，在經歷自戀虐待的康復過程中，當我以為自己找到了“方法”並做了別人建議我做的事情時，我經歷了一次又一次的空虛。
我所做的事情有時會帶來一些暫時的緩解，但自戀者的恐怖創傷正在我的皮膚下爬行，纏身的困擾和對倖存創傷的恐懼以及創造新的未來的恐懼不斷地無情地襲擊我-只是沒有停止。
我知道你們中的許多人都感到自己正在失敗，就像我感覺到的那樣。
您為什麼不能僅僅堅持並繼續重建自己的生活？
……您一生中有很多人可能對您失去耐心，因為他們不了解您為何無法變得更好。
我無時無刻不在聽到您的聲音，您感到無助，無能為力，並對自己無法自愈的方法感到絕望-甚至有時是在與自戀者分離數十年和數十年之後。
這就是為什麼在今天的Thriver電視劇中，我想和您談談我認為是加快自戀行為康復的3個最有力的步驟。
這些步驟不是大多數人告訴我們要執行的步驟……因為它們似乎完全違反直覺！
當我開始執行這些步驟時，我終於能夠康復，並以令人難以置信的自信，整體，授權和健康的方式擺脫了自戀，……我迫不及待地想與您分享這些知識！
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theres a hole in my stomach. 10 swords in my heart. while I tryed to love myself she pops into my dream and I freak out. she is like poison. I had a dream where this woman walks up to me with knife and stabs me. Im just watching and observing. she says. I need my poison. its like Im addicted
You』re a very attractive lady ?
EMDR and CBT therapy will help speed up your healing process everyone! Please google it and see if EMDR therapy is near you! Good luck my wounded warriors! You got this!! ?
I don』t believe myself to be a victim, however, I am more prone to taking the blame for everything with narc X and narc family members. I believe my work is to give them some of the blame back and not keep carrying their shit for them. That』s my growth path.
Taken down to our knees. Shut up the pain . So many of my friends expect that but I just can』t . I』m sitting with the pain and this too will pass and I』ll be stronger against these people.
Is it safe to say that being lonely is so crushing because I was constantly yelled at, accused of something, told all my faults all day every day and the chaos had me coming and going, confused and just always drama all the time. I left Sept 2, 2019, after 8 years of physical, emotional and narcissistic abuse and I stay in my apt all the time alone and never go out socially. I like being alone, but I guess just miss the companionship at night. I can』t even imagine telling another guy all my baggage. I go from so sad to so angry to thinking about him again. When I take a step forward I get knocked back 4 steps. I don』t know how to get over it and move on. And my close family are too afraid to ask how I am so I don』t talk to anyone about the crazy, mixed up feelings that still are controlling me and no excitement to do anything. I don』t want to get back to the old me. I want to find a new me that』s emerged from this horrible nightmare. I did learn I』m a huge empath, never thought that before and that I do believe in love. And want it. Not marriage but a committed loving relationship. I feel like it』s never going to happen! ?
All my life I've tried to stuff the bad feelings or run from them with distractions. Guess what. It doesn't work. I recently discovered two tools that's changing my life. Centering prayer and welcoming prayer. Centering prayer is me sitting silently and learning to still my mind and be quietly in the now with God receiving his love.. often those stuffed bad feelings will arise but now I accept them, feel them and welcome Gods presence and action into them. Often they go right away and the sting also. It's slowly changing me and were pain was now there's peace.
We love you Melanie. You are such an amazing person. It´s a shame I didn´t stumble into your youtube videos before. God bless you…
From victim to survivor.
I started a new job six weeks ago, since then I've been treated disrespectfully by the coworkers and boss. I've been
Treated less than and punished for performance that did not need to be punished because I was doing well, I was being mistreated by an obvious narcissist and the minions that were following him(trust me on this). I've put in to be transferred back to my old job, I don't feel I deserve this treatment. So I decided to lay down boundaries and leave. Do you think I'm taking a healthy stance by protecting myself and leaving?
Please let me know melanie.
The main key I think it』s to let go of the victim mentality , I think when we stay in victim mode we allow other narcissist in, it』s good to recognize we were victims but it』s not good to stay in that state of mind . The advice and tools are great to recognize patterns. Thanks Melanie ?
Melanie, your video is so insightful. Thank you
What are the 3 steps? I know she's covering it, but I need bullet points. I have an inability to listen to long explanations and stories. She's great – her information is good – that's why I listen. Can you put text on the screen or put it in the description, please?
Thank you for your videos, Melanie and for all the work you do to help others heal. You are wonderful!!! ???
I agree with these. As far as the last one, the narcissist in my life is my mother. Therefore I did nothing to bring her into my life, I had no choice who would be my mother. I do believe that going forward I need to heal those things in me that will draw more manipulative people into my life. Some days I feel I have made it so far and others I feel like I』m not healing at all. I hear this healing journey is a roller coaster. I hope everyone stays the path and heals. We are victims no more, we are survivors and we all can one day be thrivers. Love to all. ? And thank you to Melanie.
Dear Melanie you』re special you』re able to put words on my pains and traumas. I』m a Narp gold member now(after silver) and signed for the empowering course too. Its still difficult actually and I have a legal meeting on September the 5th to talk about my 6yo baby girl. I really need to be stronger before. Somewhere inside of me I know I can do it. I』ve been able to walked away from me the wheelchair 4 times in my life. I know I』m stronger than my fears tell me. Honestly I』m from France and it is such a waste that you cannot reach people who speak French. I don』t know why but I』m an exception in my country maybe because I』m a quater American but half of my brain work in English the other half in French. I also receive some help from a French doctor. It』s too bad if you allow me, that your QFH is not available in other languages. I wish I can help spread the healing. Here too there is a lot of N.
Lots of love namaste
Victim shaming, the reason we do not share what has happened so we do not have yet another abuser.
Brilliant
I love your videos!! So much insight
You』re so smart, experienced, level headed and unbiased. I respect you greatly.
Thank you.
17:45: Pema Chödrön is right, and the narc is the catalyst to make me aware that I am response-able of my thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
Go to Disney world
Yes, we cannot make crazy act sane, i have accepted this fact now by listening to your lectures. And we cant be healed by just knowing all about it. I have to do the steps no matter how difficult it is.
I find when I dig into the real problem ( my self esteem) to let go. I start forgetting day to day needs. Lose keys, lose money, forget my parking spot. Nothing life threatening, but it』s scary.
Thank you! Took the fear of it happening again away. If it does, I just had a little more to learn.
❤️ My truth discovered on my own for some time after I left this situation ..this was a million dollar lesson and I am through giving my power away..I am a winner not a victim
its amazing listening and naturally understanding what you're saying as if its common conversation, you reach really deep and im so appreciative for you to voice it.. things that i feel but cannot say to the general public because they cannot comprehend and it just comes across as madness. I'm in a new phase of my recovery that i didn't know was going to happen.. the aftermath once ive severed ties with my children's father, i thought it would go away, maybe take a month or two But what im going through may almost be more confusing as the original source isn't in my life and im just living it through triggers with people and events that didn't mean to cause the feelings i have, and cant understand what im going through, and mostly are scared of what they see, which exacerbates my pain. Thank you so much I feel so much hope. It's mind boggling that you are saying everything i feel down to the deepest molecule. much love
Wow. Thankyou.
Those people so fucking evil!!!!!!! They are genuinely evil and psychotic.
You are awesome
Thank you
Yes Lord Jesus they are littetally killing me. Over medicated!!!!!
You are so goooood
I'm healed just listening to her words lol.
This is one of your best vids. I would enjoy a written summary of main points cuzz I'm tired right now and won't remember. I'm a visual learner. Thanks. ?☮️?
I didn』t understand the part you said at 17:24, the people who are meeting us will either reflect how integrated we are or show us where we are wounded..would the narc not reflect us back we are wounded even if we are whole because that is what they are?
Melanie, do you have more info or videos on this topic which you have discussed in this video..thank you!
Master ourselves, brilliant.
Your words and wisdom have been so healing to me. THANK YOU! <3
Yes excactly,so THANK you Melanie?
All amazing! Thank you Tanya! ??
Beautiful, Melanie! The perspective of quantum healing, the inclusion of the true positive of finding the truly innate strength within ourselves as a result of seeking recovery from narc abuse. Through the chasms in our health, soul, and emotional bodies that are carved by the narcissists' abuse… we come back to ourselves. I am really feeling a miracle on it's way… coming into my own power. Thank you SO much!
YOU SICKEN ME, YOUR SPIRIT IS AN ACT
Dear Melanie, so so grateful for your very deep insights on all your videos and impeccable clarity. Can I write to you personally and not discuss on the open forum just one time. If not no problem, I understand. Thanks so so very much!
Amazing Work and tools Melanie Tonia. ???♥️ Self Care and deep inside Work and feelings!!! … You crack the code in so many levels … You bring hope and healing insights this is so twisted … Spirit and deep soul Work!!!
I really need to work on number 2…so hard not to react to crazy
Melanie, After being with him for 5 yrs and being understandable with the death of a family member 2yrs ago. Being patient waiting for him to wake up and notice I needed attention and love. He's done everything from your vanishing video using the excuse when I had a nervous break down a year ago as my guilt of cheating on him. This very last breakup in the beginning of April was it for me. Now I'm doing everything in this video trying to get him to realize things he has been doing and for what. He has no emotion or empathy towards my feelings but yet I keep trying. The hardest part is we work together side by side 3 day a week and he says he wants to stay friends because he still cares about me and loves me. Even though he met someone right after the last breakup and is now seeing but wants me to be respectful to him at work and not talk or hug any of my Male friends in front of him. What else can I do?
Hi Melanie- I』v lately been very inspired by Abraham Hicks concept of vibrational energy and positive focus and find it working similarly to your concept of quanta- one thing that frustrates or puzzles me is thinking about the narc and how they attract what they want! So easily! I feel like it』s unfair! like lawofattraction says my negative or my fears or other things are blocking me from attracting the positive and good whether it』s people or experiences or the like but the narcissist seems to get what they want every time. And they do it fast so what vibrations or signals are they sending out ? You would assume I think I』m just getting my answer – They are hooking into a part of that is sick? But I also imaginethey must be sending out I am wonderful I am someone you want -come to me -and people come flocking.Or is it just indicative of how many damaged people are out there they prey on. But from their side I still see that they get what they want every time. Thoughts?